long time no see

well i have really ignored this space for a long time and i think i need to be kicked in my bums for doing that. Before you guys queue up in front of my cabin or my home for taking turns, i must warn you, i didnt literally mean that. so now, what the f*** have i been doing for the past 6 months. Well, my life has turned topsy turvy, and this i mean literally!

for starters, as most of you who read this blog know, i have moved to india and started living in chennai. That was change number 1. And then i decided that i need to drive and bought a car and i have now learned the art of driving in Chennai.. (touch wood!!!), that was change number 2. And the most important change, my parents and my sister moved in with me.. And this was man, you wont realise, was toughest cha(llen)ge of them all.. i have not lived with them for the past 15 years and when they moved in, i was not sure how i am gonna manage.. it is not that i dont love them and i dont want them around, but it was a change, a real tough one cos i had lived all by myself and my rules for quite a while and now you had like 3 personalities more to deal with.

Man, what a roller coaster this was!! having to come home cos your mom is saying awake waiting to open the door, making sure you are not too drunk ;), calling up home in case you are gonna be late and explaining why.. these were things one takes for granted when staying alone.. guess my parents moving in is like a stepping stone to the next big thing these guys are planning.. yeah they want to get me married and are posting my photos and resumes and my life history in every goddamn marriage proposal site and office there is. I will talk about this in another blog.. this needs a lot more time and words

while i do miss the total free life i had, the fact that i had no one else who will wrest control of the tv remote from me, the fact that i could see what i wanted on tv, eat what i wanted, go out where i wanted when i wanted, with no questions.. i think this is a change i had to go through.. atleast nowadays, i get to take mom's home cooked food for lunch in the hot box everyd ay, eat fresh cooked dosas and coconut chutney when i want, even though i now have lost total control of the tv remote, have to call in and tell what time i would be home, where i am and what i am doing, and why they hear those girly noises in the background.. i think it is worth it.

p.s: i can smell hot appams.. so c ya laters..

the road not taken

When i read this poem by Robert Frost, i never even imagined that one day it would be a title for a blog post that would be describing my experience in driving in India.

but seriously, it really is a road that i have never taken. You see, i got my drivers license in india, mangalore to be precise, 10 years back. and i drove in mangalore when i was learning to drive with my driving instructor.

after that, never drove in this country of mine where driving is more of an art than a science. and now, after driving in countries where people follow rules, to drive in chennai is like really a road not taken!!!

when i started last evening, i was constantly watching all 3 mirrors, sitting at the edge of my seat trying to figure out where my car starts and ends and like sweating so much with my ac on that i was drenched when i reached home.

this morning i learnt my first lesson, mirrors are not for indians.. so there u go.. stopped looking at them. I put my music full blast on, wear my seat belt (habit!!!) and then go straight and honk enough to get the guy in front of me to let me pass and ignore the honks i get at the back.. that seems to work.. so there u go.. the road not taken is not that bad after all.. but i think its gonna take me a while to get used to driving in this chaos.

There and back again...

no, i am not bilbo baggins and although i have a great resemblance to gollum and have a great liking for his character, i didnt go in search of the one ring. i am writing about my recently concluded trip to singapore. it was a trip with a lot of mixed feelings. I used to tell my friends back in singapore when i used to live there that when i fly into changi airport and drive home, it felt like u know returning home, but this time, that feeling was missing. i did feel good and happy meeting all my friends and partying till 4:30 am on saturday night, felt good to sit by the river and have brunch with a beer at brewerkz and of course the thai food and the chicken rice etc etc, but it didnt feel like home.

it is quite strange how your affiliations change in such a short time span. anyways, was a good trip and used it to tie a few open ends.

now, back and unpacking my stuff and need to get some nails and hammer to start mounting my masks, and other collectibles and have to buy a dining table, a really large book case, a nice CD/dvd storage shelf, a show case for my collection of glasses and a storing shelf for the kitchen, and yeah a couple of bean bags until my dad transfers over the sofa set.

oh btw, i should be getting my maruti swift this wednesday and so looking forward to driving.. need to figure out a name for my car.. wonder what i should call her.

Mr. Bridget Jones

Well no, i am not going to write about stones and pounds and girlfriends, if for anything else, the reason being i honestly dont know what i weigh in stones and pounds, and i am no good to land a girlfriend :p. i use too much of my head for my own good or bad. the perspective is upto you..

it has been a month since i got on here to write. been a crazy month. settling down at my new apartment. mom, dad and sis visiting me for diwali. it was really nice for a change when your folks visit you rather than you them. made a quick trip to palghat to see my granma and then ofcourse the routine of waking up, bargaining with the rick guy, going to work getting immersed, coming back, watching tv, reading some books/the morning paper and then chatting with sis and hitting the bed. hell life has to be little more interesting than that and well all is not that bad..

have a new project in my life.. courtesty ofcourse mom and dad and i knew this when i came back to india. they are not gonna let me stay single for long but then i didnt expect they would start so soon , but then life hardly happens as u plan.. so in the pretext of helping mom and dad with finding me a bride, i am visiting all the online matrimonials.. and the ****head that i am, i created my profile with the name "prenup".. it did sound funny when i created it but most of the friends of mine from the fairer sex seem to disagree with me about the humor behind this.. hey come on gals u cant be too serious about such things.. i swear i dont intend to ask for one.. me not that kind anyway.

well, right when i was thinking it has been 4 months since i traveled, lo and behold, i was asked by my boss to travel to singapore on some work and so am off tomorrow. looking forward to meeting my pals and play a round of articulate and cranium.

when i get back, i will write about the "pain of waiting for a car to be delivered in india".. till then adios amigos

Autorickshaw Wars

If George Lucas were to make Star Wars again, he defn would need to visit India and take a look at the three wheelers. he could have got some new ideas on how to take some of his chase sequences and action shots of one of those space crafts flying between the asteroids.

Man, its a gamble every day i swear. It all starts with the moment you flag down a auto. The first thing is you have to tell him where you want to go and the auto guy will take a minute to think about it - i guess his brain must be going, i am god for the moment should i say yes or should i say no. and by the time he is thinking, he is actually sizing you up. some guys would ask dumb questions such as oh is that place near this building A or B or watever. What he is doing is figuring out if this guy who is talking to his is a sucker or not, if he is well dressed, then light bulb goes on!! damn, this guy must be an IT guy. so can fleece him or watever.. so after like a time of heightened anxiety he finally acquiesces. Thank you your highness!!! i tell myself.. but wait.. its not over yet.. now comes the hard part.. the bargaining.

The guys have a going rate which is their cut off and usually its about 20 Rs over the actual meter , that is if you ever get to see an actual meter that is not tampered with and by some divine grace of God, you ever get a a auto wallah actually deciding to use the meter and getting paid by it. So you see the chances of that happening are quite remote. Well going back to bargaining, see even though most autos have meters and most of them have the supposedly untamperable electronic meters, ( i doubt it.. some IT guy might start a venture on the side selling code to actually make the meter tick a little faster) its always better to fix a rate cos you never know what these guys will pull you into post the ride. i remember 10 years back when i took a auto and decide the rate as 50 RS (its ambathu rupees in tamil) and post the ride this guy started saying it was 80 Rs(embathu rupees.. dont ask me which idiotic guy had the brains to have such close sounding phoenetics for the language but that something u have to live with). well anyway, i took that guy to the cops and made him pay. Coming back to bargaining.. u see u have to fix the rate and the rate is based on a lot of factors.. refer back to sizing you up.. so it might start from 2 to 2.5 times the actual meter fare and you have to bargain it down..

the good thing is if the auto guy realizes you know what you are talking about, then they come down from the pedastal they are in and then its a ride .. the third part of the gamble. else its like, this guy rides away and you start afresh with the next guy in pipeline. The good thing is the pipeline is quite strong.

Well once you get in the auto, the ride of your life starts.. man its crazy, the weaving, the speed, the sudden brakes, and the U turns, the squeezing in between vehicles where you thought even an ant cant get in.. and by the time he stops at your destination, your gaurdian angel would have had a heart attack.

I keep a separate pack of hypertension tablets in my bag for my gaurdian angel and keep hoping the angel doesnt give up on me and walk away.. just a few more weeks for my car..

I am back!!!

Well i wanted to say it in the style of Arnold Swazzernagger(sic!!) (or Shivashankarnair as the mallus would like to call), but then i remembered, i am 1 feet shorter, have lost all the muscle mass i gained since i stopped gymming like a year back, have put on a small tummy thanks to my periamma's curd rice and mom's food over the past 3 months and also i dun have my Honda Phantom anymore.. :((( - i had to sell it ...

In short.. i quit my old job, moved in with my parents in hyderabad..(luckily my dad didnt call me dandachoru :-)) well before i could give him a reason, while trying to decide between should i join a friend and start a firm or start discussions with a few companies i had contacted, i had one of the most luckiest breaks ever.

Power of Networking - i guess this would be a perfect example. Got in touch with a friend/batchmate of my friend/insead alumnus and lo and behold, i get a call from my current big boss.. end of the day, i landed my new job within one month of my quitting my old one. So now in chennai, joined my new role, found a new apartment, got a new TV and other stuff, and waiting for my maruti swift and my luggage to arrive from singapore.

What a year it has been.. Well, lets see, i last wrote in this space in May 2007. I stopped regular posting almost an year to the month if i am not mistaken.

It was one of those f***king long years that one wishes one never had. Well on the flip side, one always says there are people worse off. Well of course there are people worse off but then that does not mean i have to be worse than what the ideal state should be , should i? :) hell why talk about that.. it was a down trip through out the year.. one of the worst times personally and professionally.. imagine a life if you are not happy both at home and at work.. man, i swear, no one should experience this shit i went through.. not worth it..

Well i just wanted to jot down the last 12 months in one post and close this chapter of my life. After all, if I should not just do lip service to rudyard kipling's words.

If...

Reading this poem by Rudyard Kipling has never failed to impress upon me the values he talks about. This is one poem i turn to when it is the darkest of times, when i am faced with challenges that seem to pin you down, when i need hope!!!

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


ultimately, u know, i have come to realise, we all live on too much Ifs and not now! and i have been doing that for a while now.. living on Ifs.. its time i started posting on this blog again.. and its time i started living again... after all life is what happens when you are busy planning (as per john lennon) and life is what is happening when you are busy figuring out what went wrong (as per me)...